Slowing down

14Feb2024

 

Yes, I am. Slowing down, that is. But before you starting oohing your sympathy for me or nervously click away to avoid what you assume will be a downer post (if you haven’t already, but how would I know?), allow me to reassure you that I’m feeling quite ‘up’ today.

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I had Covid in late July. Which means that in addition to the shaky hands and aching back that are features of my age (the hands) and carelessness (the back), I have been dealing with adventures in what they call Long Covid. Which is not especially life threatening but also not particularly fun.

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I’ve had maddening problems with memory. Words that won’t come. Having to ask Mary or the Garmin lady for directions for well-travelled routes. And at a meeting of my woodturning club a couple months ago, I went on and on thanking a guy for some help he’d given me in troubleshooting my broken-down lathe. When his confusion became obvious, I paused long enough for him to share that he’d no idea what I was on about. Yeah, wrong guy. And it was worse when I heard a voice behind me, “That was me.” And this was a guy who’d driven over an hour each way and spent 4 hours bent over my lathe.

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I had planned to finally build my new hand work bench and I did. But it took six months to complete rather than the 3-4 weeks that would have been the case pre-brain freeze.

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Probably the worst aspect was that I wasn’t able to write. At least, not much nor with any degree of fluidity. In desperation, I figured I would just spend my recovery time editing the various woodworking and family videos. Until I was unable to manipulate the app I purchased to do just that.

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Finally, instead of continuing to fight and harbor dread thoughts about how my life would play out from now, I went back to reading. I found that the inability to focus on characters and story line that had haunted me the first few months resolved if I just didn’t expect myself to zip through a couple books a week. I slowed down to a chapter or even a few pages each night and the next thing I knew, I was through a book. And then another. And then…

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I could only spend a couple hours a day in the shop so as I said, the bench build dragged on. But slowing down on it actually gave me the time I might not otherwise have taken to incorporate design features and alter dimensions so that the bench I ended up with will serve my ever so much better than if I’d followed the original design.

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I spent hours refurbishing and hand sharpening old tools, a slow but absorbing process that filled my days and left me with obscenely sharp tools.  And then, I started carving, relying on Mary May videos and downloaded patterns (an artist I’m not) to learn that part of the craft.

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And I did. Learn, that is. And yesterday when my arthritic hands got sore, I tried once again to download the app that I purchased (5?) months ago. I approached it slowly and without expectational burden and sure enough, it was easy.

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I’m not convinced my brain is fully re-allied with me as of yet but I can feel it coming closer by the day. I’m healing. And I truly believe it’s mostly due to having intentionally slowed down.

Yes, it’s true. I’m slowing down. Thank goodness.